Incompetent to Stand Trial

I am beginning to think that I am the insane one and everyone else is normal.  There can’t be this many lunatics in the world, so I must be seeing it in reverse.  “Huh?” you say, but if you ever visit New York City during the holiday season, then you will understand what I’m talking about.

My sister, my daughter and I journeyed to the Big Apple yesterday to take in some sights, see some stores and have a nice dinner.  First I would like to point out that Connecticut does not put much stock into their rail system, and seems pretty much to have washed its hands of the whole situation.  I’m not sure where all of the casino money and tax dollars go, but they are certainly not funding the railways here.  After a jolting, loud, overheated two hour ride, we arrived at Grand Central.  From there we visited the Museum of Natural History, and ventured to Columbus Circle to walk down Central Park South to Fifth Avenue.  Asides from the pushing, shoving and almost getting run down by a couple of cabs, we found FAO Schwartz.  We proceeded to stand in a line that was an entire block long in order to just step foot in the store.  Once inside, it seemed most people were in some type of feeding frenzy, and my sister was actually physically moved aside by an old woman.  After having heart palpitations at some of the overinflated, ridiculous prices, we moved out of the warm store and into the forty mile-an-hour winds of the city.  We made our way down Fifth and visited Saint Patrick’s Cathedral, and headed towards Rockefeller Center.  A suggestion?  Look at the tree and the skaters in the comfort of your own home on your TV.  It is totally not worth the anguish.  First of all, I thought that the tree was decorated…all it had on it was lights.  Totally not impressive.  There were so many people in Rockefeller Center that you couldn’t even see the skaters.  We moved onto Times Square, which was also so packed that it was shoulder to shoulder on the sidewalks.  Again, we waited in an exceptionally long line to enter the M&M’s store. 

We had an excellent dinner at Vice Versa on West 51^st (pumpkin ravioli…yum!) and headed back into the mayhem of Times Square.  Thankfully there were no lines to get into the Disney Store and Toys R Us.  We walked back downtown to the Empire State Building, went up to the observatory, viewed the city lights from the 86^th floor in sixty mile-an-hour winds, and made our way back to Grand Central Station.  By this time, the three of us are utterly exhausted and freezing; we make a quick pit stop and board the crowded train home.  This is where the real fun began.  We had the absolute sheer luck of sitting with a rather large extended family that took up most of the car.  There was about ten kids and what looked to be four adults, or should I say three adults and one really big child.  The really big child, approximately forty two years old, proceeded to throw M&M’s around the car, hitting his brother in the head, as well as some other unrelated passengers.  In addition, he had a really large and obnoxious mouth, and I know I heard the “F” word said several times in front of his eight-year-old children.  After he tired of throwing candy, he began to roughhouse with his son, who kept jostling into the passengers (unrelated) in the seat across the aisle.  I sat in utter shock, appalled at the behavior of this grown man, on a public train, no less.   

We returned to Union Station in New Haven after two grueling hours of pandemonium, and made our way home.  What a day, what a day.  Overall I think we had a good time, but I don’t think that I would ever venture out to the City during the holidays again.  We were too worried about losing each other in the crowd and getting lost to really take in all of the offerings of the city…the architecture, the cultures, the decorations.  We may do a couple of things differently next time, such as investing in either noise cancelling headphones or large doses of horse tranquilizer for the train ride.  Or maybe large amounts of cash for bail, since I may be charged with manslaughter.  I will just tell the judge that I plead not guilty for reason of mental defect…the defect being I decided to visit the city during Christmas.  You can come see me at Bellevue.