My husband and I find ourselves laughing more and more at the stupid things that we say sometimes to our kids. I’m talking about the “Don’t” statements…those that are trying to save the children either from getting sick, getting hurt, or getting into trouble. Every day, we seem to add another odd one to the mix.
The newest one that can be heard on most days is “Don’t put your tongue on that!” Now if someone was just listening, and not seeing what we see, that statement might seem a little inappropriate. However, this is shouted when our son, Michael, attempts to lick the side of the pool. Why does he lick the pool? I have no idea why, and I don’t think Michael does either. Maybe he’s trying to be a puppy, maybe he’s trying to taste things, or maybe he’s a little nutty.
And while we’re on the subject of tongues, “Don’t lick the windows” is another popular admonishment heard often in our house. Again, I have no idea why my son likes to lick windows. My dog also enjoys this pastime. Maybe this is a popular hobby with children…although I don’t remember ever licking windows when I was bored.
This morning, Michael came into our room and told us a story. He said that he went potty all by himself, and he scrubbed his hands because they were all dirty from getting his bouncy ball out of the toilet. ?? Apparently, after a lengthy interrogation, we surmised that he was holding his new bouncy ball while he was going to the bathroom, and when he got up (he still sits to go pee), he dropped his bouncy ball in the toilet. He reached in to get it out, and he washed his hands, but never washed the bouncy ball. I am reminded of many years ago, when my daughter (four at the time), told us that her princess figurines fell into the potty. To both children we had to ask, “Did you mean to put them in there, or was it a mistake.” And both children replied, “It was a stake.”
Another one that was heard today, “Don’t jump in the puddles.” I think every parent who ever had small children knows this one. Children, especially ones with brand new shoes, are magnetically drawn to puddles, and the deeper the puddles, the stronger the affinity between child and puddle. Even as an adult, I even from time to time have to step in a puddle…sometimes you don’t have a choice. But I usually try to avoid taking a running leap and landing two footed in the deepest part of the puddle. If this was an Olympic sport, my children most likely would have received gold medals. My teenager has stopped puddle-ducking; it is beyond her station now. But the little one, I think, was actually born a duck.
Of course, the phrase “Don’t do that!” is probably the most frequently heard. This phrase can and will apply to the simplest thing or to the oddest behavior. For instance, trying to smell your toes at the dinner table. Or perhaps streaking naked through the house after bath time. I tell my husband not to do those all the time. Just joking, honey, I know these are only directed towards Michael. I was just seeing if you were reading…HAHA!
