This house looks like a bomb went off inside a toy store and we’re living in the debris. I’m still finding wrapping paper, whether it be stuck to the dog, or a little boy’s left sock. Now the search and rescue operation of the New Year begins. I will be searching for places to put the new things we all got for Christmas, and rescuing the floor from underneath the residue of plastic packaging and crumpled shirt boxes. But as I try to make sense of the mayhem that has ensued, I discover that my family, particularly a little boy, has a tendency to leave toys in the oddest places.
1. I found a little wind-up robot on the window sill in the kitchen. Not sure if he was using it for a runway, or figured that the robot would like some sun.
2. I found a pair of rainbow suspenders (yes, the kind an old man puts on a pair of pants) underneath the dining room table. He got the suspenders in a kit for dressing up as a construction worker. Maybe he was trying to fix something under the table, or he was trying to put the suspenders on the puppy.
3. I found a blue plastic slinky (tangled, or course) in my bed under my pillow. Maybe he figured he could hide it there?
4. There was another windup toy under the rocking chair in my bedroom. This time it was a red ladybug.
5. I found a toy drill on the TV console downstairs in the family room. Daddy was a little worried about that one, because it was dangerously close to the plasma TV. We’re not sure whether he was attempting to fix the TV or the Blu-ray player, but it looks like he was unsuccessful. Everything is still working properly.
6. I found an M&M pack in the Christmas tree.
7. I found one of his Chuck trucks in his hamper. Maybe the truck needed a wash?
My daughter, the teenager, doesn’t have any toys to leave about. However, I could probably go to the casino with the amount of cash that I find in odd places. Pants pockets, on the stairs, in the washer, on the counter, on the dining room table, on the coffee table in the family room. The list goes on and on. She’s lucky I’m an honest mommy, or otherwise, I’d be independently wealthy.
My husband also has a tendency to leave things where they lay, particularly his tools. When he’s working on a project, he’ll spend the majority of the time looking for his tools, asking me if I’ve seen such and such tool, blaming the kids for taking his tools and hiding them. He has several tool boxes, but they are empty. He also has a tendency to leave napkins and paper towels in weird places, like inside the freezer and in our closet. But I have a strange feeling he does this on purpose, just to see how I will react. If I were him, I wouldn’t want to provoke me, but he has an abnormal sense of humor.
But as I sit here thinking about the others, I have a sneaking suspicion that the worst repeat offender in our house is me. I try to blame it on the “mother brain”, or I’ve got too many things to do, or I’ll try to blame the husband and the kids or even the dog. But when you put baby wipes in the freezer or milk in the cabinet, can you really blame anyone or anything? One time I called my husband and accused him of taking my keys to work with him when all along they were in the car ignition. I had started the car because it was cold, and then proceeded to forget that I did it. I was ready to rip the house apart looking for my keys, when all along they were in a place I meant them to be. I’ve thrown money away before, and then had to dig through the garbage looking for it. I’ve forgotten my purse at home numerous times, proceeding to drive without a license.
So, in closing, I’m sure as I continue to attempt putting this house back together again, I will find more toys in questionable locations, more money left around, and maybe even that long lost missing aluminum duct tape that my husband has been looking for since July. I just hope that I don’t find any chicken in the pantry…
