Trains, Planes and Automobiles

(I wrote this a couple of weeks ago.  But because it was on paper, in my infinite wisdom and [cough] organizational skills, I misplaced it for a time.)

This is a first. I’m writing this blog via the old fashioned way, pen and paper.  Why, you ask?  There are a couple of reasons.  A—I am currently stranded on a Shoreline East train, and B—I don’t have my laptop because of the massive Trojan horse that unleashed its fury on my defenseless XP driven, four year old laptop.  So here I sit, “patiently” waiting for the powers-that-be to decide when and if we can start moving.  I swear this state has some real issues with weather-related crisis. A few drops of rain and a couple claps of thunder strike a major discord within this fine railway establishment.  But this blog, alas, is not about the melodramatics of this pathetic state, but the sorry “state” of public transportation in Connecticut.  The railway system is grossly archaic and malnourished, the bus system is pretty much non-existent, and most of the highways are in disrepair.  We are one of the richest states in the union, but no money can be disseminated into the public transportation system. 

My day started out like this.  I left my house at 6:15AM in order to make the 6:55AM Shoreline East train from New London to Union Station in New Haven.  Why so early?  Because Shoreline East only runs two trains; one in the morning and one at night.  I say two trains because the line is always fraught with delays and problems, that it might as well be just the two trains.  I bought my 6:55AM tickets, and waited ever so patiently in the already sweltering morning heat.  6:55 came and went.  So did 7:15, 7:20, 7:25…you get the picture.  The huddled masses finally were able to board the train at 7:35AM.  Finally underway (forty minutes late) we settled in for a rather jarring, teeth-rattling ride through all of the shoreline towns to Union Station in New Haven.  Because I missed the first Metro-North train, I had to book it to the second connection, which I barely made.  I no later sat my ass in the seat when we departed.  I endured yet another jolting ride from New Haven to Grand Central.  My plans for the day were upheaved, because of what ended up being an hour delay, and I didn’t arrive at my destination until 11:00AM.

I finished my business in the city, and took the wrong subway trying to get back to Grand Central (I got my uptowns and downtowns a little mixed up.)  I had a quick bite and made a pit stop, and I was back on the Metro-North heading back to New Haven.

You’re thinking, home free, right?  WRONG!  Just after the Stamford station, we lost A/C and power, and then the train stopped several times.  Somehow I made the connection with the Shoreline East train with ten minutes to spare.  Lucky me, right?  Wrong again.  Because of the thunderstorms, we got stranded at the Union Station terminal for two hours.  We just started moving, thank the heavens.  Thank goodness my babysitter doesn’t charge by the hour!  Here we are, going about ten miles an hour, two hours late, wondering how I’m going to get the car out of the parking garage in New London at ten at night.

Just wait…an update…apparently there is only one track open right now, and we’re on the wrong one.  We were informed that we have to go west (towards New Haven) to go east (towards New London).   Huh?  That’s right…those are your hard-earned tax dollars at work.  So here it is, 8:31, I left NYC at 4:34, and I’m still en route, with no ETA, and no guarantee that this train is going to get me home.  But open your wallets, because here comes the conductor to collect the fare.

In close, I will never take Shoreline East again.  I’d rather take my chances on I-95 in my car, drive to New Haven and get on the Metro-North.  I’ll get there in a quarter of the time, and still have my sanity.

P.S.  We are still going west…now we’re getting behind four east-bound trains waiting in line…oh wait, we’re back at Union Station…WHAT THE F*CK?!?

P.P.S.  8:40PM—still at Union Station---we’ve gone backwards in time.  Is this the paradox of the universe?

P.P.P.S.  8:44PM—we’re actually travelling east?  Could this be true?  Wait…I think that was a woodchuck that just passed us and, yes, he was on foot.

8:57PM Branford

9:08PM Guilford

9:14PM Madison

9:20PM Clinton

9:25PM Westbrook

Uh oh…they came around and counted everyone going to New London…there’s radio banter about not continuing to New London…what the hell?

9:36PM Old Saybrook

10:06PM New London and a scary, dark parking garage…there’s a night teller on duty…at least I won’t have to break through the gate.

Oh good, tractor-trailer versus pickup truck on the highway…someone doesn’t want me getting home tonight.

10:36PM…my driveway, home sweet home.  I realize that it took me eight hours just to get to Groton from NYC.  I could have flown to Heathrow in London in the same amount of time.

Only $9.99, plus a $200 processing fee…

Lately it seems that everywhere you turn, you get ripped off.  I know I’ve blogged about this before, but it seems to be getting worse.  Or I’m just getting older and older and my patience for bullsh*t is wearing thin. 

Recently, I needed to book some airline tickets for a short vacation.  With technology today, making airline reservations is relatively simple, as long as what you are doing is pretty straight-forward.  Of course, mine were not.  After entering my information into the reservation calculator, I was informed that I needed to call the reservation line with JetBlue in order to fulfill my request.  Obviously, because of my dislike for the general public, I cringed to think that I would have to use the phone.  However, I had to give in.  I called JetBlue’s customer service line.  After cycling through seemingly endless menus and options, I was told that I could avoid the $15 phone charge if I went onto JetBlue’s website.  Wait, a phone charge?!?  I have to pay $15 extra to talk to a human whose primary language is not English?  What fresh hell is this?  Isn’t it bad enough that the fuel surcharge is more than the actual ticket price?  Isn’t it insane enough that they charge you for your luggage?  Apparently not, since now they charge you for the phone call that you have to make because you are not allowed to conduct normal business on their website.  Whatever, JetBlue, this is the first and last time I will conduct business with the likes of you.

All of you concert goers out there now what I’m talking about with this next happy detail.  I remember not too far back that the ticket processing fees for buying tickets online were anywhere from $1 to $5 per ticket.  Today, I found myself in the unique situation of buying tickets for a Broadway show that is coming to the Bushnell.  The last time I bought tickets to the Bushnell was two years ago when my daughter and I went to see Phantom and the ticket processing fees were only three dollars.  Today, after buying nosebleed seats at $39 bucks a pop, I was charged a $21 processing fee, plus an additional $2 processing fee per ticket.  @#&!  I let the expletives fly. 

Don’t even get me started on restaurants and their new way of screwing their customers.  A la carte dining is one of the biggest scams to hit in a while.  You pay $30 for a steak, but then have to pay extra if you want a potato.  Whatever, Michael Jordan’s Steakhouse, I guess I’ll stick to the buffet…

So, the way I see it, you are screwed one way or another.  Damned if you do and damned if you don’t.  If you call customer service for one thing, you get charged, and if you try to do things online, you get charged again.  Do these companies just want to cut out the customer altogether?  On the other hand, maybe I can start charging processing and handling fees…something like this perhaps?

Wash and Dry…$5 per load, plus $10 additional if the clothes are extra dirty

Dish Washing…$10 per sink full, plus $5 additional if food is stuck on

Hamper Maintenance…free, unless the clothes don’t make it into hamper, then $1 charge for every article I have to pick up off the floor

Murphy's Law

Murphy’s Law

Murphy’s law dictates that a cake intended for a baby shower will shatter into ten pieces at 7:00 the night before the shower. 

Murphy’s law states that a child will have an accident in his pants away from home as soon as you remove the diaper bag from the car, thinking, “I don’t need this anymore”.  You are wrong, you will need it until the child is at least thirteen.

Murphy’s law allows for the simple fact that once the dog is home from the groomer’s, it will rain for forty days and forty nights, and the all the mud that was in the yard will end up in your house and on the dog.

Murphy’s law claims that either runaway horses or vagrant mice will keep you from sleeping on the one night that you desperately need sleep, for the next day is awfully busy.

Murphy’s law states that on the night you’ve been anxiously waiting for the season premiere of a TV show, either the cable will go out, or a teenage child will have seventy-five algebra problems that she needs help with.  (So you record the show on the DVR, only to find out the next day that the DVR was full and the show didn’t record.)

Murphy’s law says that once you pay off the loan on your vehicle, and receive the title for said vehicle, the probability of that vehicle breaking rises exponentially, so that you have to go buy a new one and take out another loan.

Murphy’s law tells us that kids always speak when you least want them to, like to tell the stranger at the library that Mommy has boobies under her shirt, and he has a tummy under his.

I would like to know who this guy Murphy is…I want a picture of him so that when I find him, I can hurt him badly.  However, his law clearly states that once I do find him, he’ll already be dead.

Sales Pitch

I consider myself to be Catholic.  I was raised Catholic, and I believe in some of the doctrine associated with this particular branch of Christianity.  But there comes a time when you have to stop and begin to question some of the other doctrine and laws that are constantly being thrown at you.  I think many people have this epiphany at some point, either in their teenage years (when you question everything) or when they are facing their own mortality (like when you turn 30).  Looking at other religions and sects of Christianity, you find yourself taking little snippets of this and tidbits of that, trying to piece together your own set of beliefs that make you feel a little better.  But after a while, you begin to hear a sales pitch, like when you are buying a new car:

Salesman:     What can I do to put you into a new religion today?

Shopper:        Umm, well, does the new religion come with tolerance?  Does it judge people before it   knows them?  Does it condemn those who may follow another Holy One?

Salesman:     Well, we have a nice book with many stories…

Shopper:        Oh, okay.  Are those stories open to interpretation, or are they taken for literal value?

Salesman:     (glances around uncomfortably) Um, well, they should be taken for their literal value.

Shopper:        Oh, so when the book mentions that the world was created in six days and that all of humanity came from one man and one woman, you’re saying that should be taken literally?  Does that mean ignoring millions of years of evolution, the existence of prehistoric animals, and the evolution of human kind over thousands of years?

Salesman:     Well, um, every Sunday we come together while one of us preaches, and we sing songs and hold hands; it’s really quite nice.

Shopper:        That is nice.  But if I can’t come on Sundays, does that mean I can’t belong?  Does your God only listen to those of His children who worship on Sundays in His church?  Does He listen to those who maybe follow in His word every day, who decide they don’t want to go to church? 

Salesman:     Er…we offer some nice services.  We have marriage, christening, communion, funerals…

Shopper:        I like services.  But do you offer marriages for same-sex couples?  I know a couple who are in the market for a religion that believes in all marriages, they might be interested…

Salesman:     (backing away slowly) Um, maybe this religion is not the right fit for you. 

Shopper:        Oh, that’s too bad.  I’ve been in the market for a while, but I can’t seem to find the right fit. Oh, I have one more question; does your religion believe in equality between men and women?

Salesman:     Um, I really have to go, I’m sorry we couldn’t do business today.  If your values ever change, come back in and maybe we can make a deal. (Walks away hurriedly)

Shopper:        Gee, I scare off more salesmen that way. (Hangs head and shuffles off)

And just because I wear a crucifix around my neck doesn't mean that it’s open season for offers.  I met a really nice woman at the Library Storytime.  I saw her there last week with her children, and this week she decided that she would talk to me.  After a nice conversation, she pulls out a printed business card with the name of her church and when the services are.  "We would like it if you could come to our services," she says with a smile.  Politely I take the card, thank her, gather up my son and walk away.  Out of curiosity, I punch in the particular sect of Christianity from the propaganda on the card into Google.  It sounds nice, but I can see through the rose colored wording that this religion really wouldn't suit me either.  Mainly because I see the "Our members agree to strive to be devoted to the body life of the church. This includes making whole-hearted efforts, for example, attending each [applicable] meeting of the body…”  You have to go to church everytime they call the flock together.  Don’t get me wrong, I like going to church, the feeling of spirituality and sense of belonging to a community.  But don’t tell me that I’m not a good person because I don’t go to church every Sunday.  I can think of a few awful people who go to church every Sunday, and I can think of a few really good, generous, gracious and righteous people who don’t go to church.  I don’t think Jesus is taking attendance and giving out demerits.  He’s much too busy dealing with bigger issues, like battling true evil, and carrying those who need Him in their hours of darkness. 

So enough with the sales pitches.  Just because I disagree with some aspects of my religion doesn’t mean that I’m ready to convert to another.  A good relationship requires some discord every now and again.  I’m not a sheep, I’m not one of the flock.  I can’t be shepherded.  But that’s okay, I think God understands.

Letter to Big Y...My latest tirade against greedy corporate America...

Ms. D’Amour, (Educational Partnership Program)

I was absolutely shocked when I read the sign outside of our Little Y Kids’ Club this afternoon, telling us that the club would close for good on March 26^th.  My son is three and a half and it is the high point of his day when I tell him he is going to see his “friends” at Little Y.  He is completely in love with Little Y, and it is  helping him to prepare for preschool in September.  That was one of the many reasons that I enrolled him in the Little Y Kids’ Club.  Little Y allows kids that don’t have daycare to develop their social skills and ready them for preschool and/or kindergarten.  Another reason was that I could enjoy my shopping experience, take my time, and not rush through the aisles like I used to before I enrolled him. 

I cannot believe that you are closing the Little Y at our store.  I honestly don’t know how I’m going to explain the situation to my son.  He asks me every day if we can go to Little Y.  I started going to the Big Y store in Groton since it opened, and have always been satisfied with my shopping experience.  However, I’ve noticed lately that things are changing, and not for the better.  First, the coin program got cut, and the sales and price specials suffered.  Then, the self-checkouts were taken out.  At that time, I seriously considered moving my business to Stop and Shop.  Now, I find that yet another customer service is being tossed by the wayside, and nothing is being improved.  Now I have to take my business elsewhere, because apparently, the over $10,000 a year I spend at Big Y doesn’t matter to those in charge.  And just because of greed, small children have to return to the boring chore of grocery shopping with their already stressed-out mothers.  How much does it cost to run a Little Y Kids’ Club?   

Therefore, I will be no longer using Big Y as my supermarket; beginning tomorrow, I will be going to Stop and Shop.  It breaks my heart, and it will also break my son’s heart. 

Melissa Russo

SO...once again we get screwed by one corporation (Big Y), move to another (Stop and Shop) to only get screwed once again.  This only reaffirms my standpoint that people suck, especially rich people and CEO's.  I think that we should form our own society somewhere, like in "The Village", and have monetary system...be totally self-reliant.  Just think, no greed, no violence, no crime...just life.

"...And So That They May Teach Young Women..."

My mother laughs, but I stick to the principle that an apron to a woman is demeaning and degrading.  That’s how I’ve always felt about aprons, and unless it was made by one of my kids (preferably under the age of ten) you’ll never see me wearing one.  Aprons?  Just think about it for a second.  When you see a woman in an apron, what do you think of?  I think June Cleaver, I think Donna Reed, the idealized wife and mother that was a servant to her husband.  Key word—servant.  Maybe that was “okay” during the 1950’s, but I disagree with that image for today’s woman. 

There is a popular branch of Christianity (I won’t say which) that still puts much stock and emphasis on the subservient role of women in society.  They still insist on the word “obey” in the marriage vows.  They also hold seminars where the pastor teaches young women of the importance of being chaste, discreet, good homemakers, and obedient to their husbands.  Women are not allowed to wear pants to church, and they are not allowed to be a part of the church’s financial administrations.  These principles are being taught to their daughters.   Daughters who should be given every opportunity to be free, independent and strong, not weak, passive and dependent on men for survival.  I’m usually the last person to criticize one’s religion, but this is a dangerous road to be travelling.

In addition to fighting religious ideologies, women constantly have to worry about their rights where government is concerned.  The women’s movement is always in danger of being set back fifty years.  Currently, the GOP is trying to push legislation involving abortion rights.  There are several pieces of legislation including denying insurance coverage for women who need an abortion, allowing hospitals to turn women away if they need an abortion, and to cut federal aid to agencies like Planned Parenthood.  This is also a very dangerous road.  If government takes away reproductive rights, women will find alternative ways, and then the men of government will have blood on their hands.  Blood from women whose back alley abortions lead to their agonizing deaths.  Blood from women who have been raped or are victims of incest, and have nowhere to turn.  Instead of helping us in our movement, they hold our heads just under the water.  We can see the surface, but no matter how hard we kick, we can’t break it.

Maybe men are finally realizing that women have taken over the entire operation and they are running scared.  Most women that are “homemakers” run a well-oiled machine…they take care of the children and husband while juggling the family budget, family consumerism, schedules, fund-raisers, cooking, cleaning, and laundry.  Sure, the husband may think he’s doing the work, but it’s really the woman that keeps the family going.  Nowadays, most men will openly admit that their wives run the show, and some will appreciate that fact.  It means, in the end, less work for them to do.  Most marriages have their gender roles worked out…some marriages are still confused.  I am a “homemaker”, even though I prefer the term “domestic engineer.”  I take care of everything within the walls of the house.  My husband takes care things outside of the walls, including the vehicles.  We worked out our gender roles back at the beginning of our marriage.  I made it quite clear that I do not take out the trash, I do not mow grass, and I do not know anything about cars, lawnmowers, snowblowers, etc.  I have also made it quite clear that unless there is an injury involved, I do not shovel snow.  See, I’ve done all of these things before I was married, and I didn’t care to continue doing them once I was married.  My husband did his own laundry before he was married, but doesn’t care to continue.  That’s okay…those are our gender roles.  They are established and we have a great relationship.  We are able to laugh and joke and be comfortable and content.  Essentially, we are equals and involve each other in every major decision.  Major decisions—not what color the guest bathroom towels should be or what type of motor oil to buy.

In short, I am worried about the next generation of daughters.  Teen dating violence is on the rise, so obviously we are not breaking the cycle.  The media continues to show women as sex objects or things to possess.  They should be teaching young girls that they deserve respect, independence and should be put on equal footing with their male counterparts.  Mothers, please teach your daughters to be servants to no one.   Teach them self-reliance, and allow them every opportunity to be successful and intelligent.  In this way, we will continue the uphill battle…

Consumer Conspiracy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBCCuDEOw0c

I love the above commercial where the guy thinks that the service station men are trying to mug him and take his car.  We are so used to getting treated like crap as consumers that when we see something that is genuine and wholesome, we look for the illusion.  What’s the catch? How much money do we actually have to invest?  Consumers are vulnerable and are taken advantage of by greedy corporations several times a day.  From the coffee at the drive-thru in the morning, to the gas we need to get to work, to the pharmacy to get our medications, to the grocery store to buy ingredients for dinner…we are constantly getting ripped off.  We pay top dollar for crap…crap that we have to replace with more crap in a year.  Sometimes less than a year, especially if said crap was bought at Wal Mart.

This latest tirade was initiated by my once weekly trip to Starbucks.  I know, I’m a total sucker, but I absolutely refuse to go to Dunkin Donuts (refer to blog “Bring Back Bess Eaton”).  Starbucks new thing is making the orders one at a time.  This idea is supposed to bring the customer the freshest coffee drink possible.  Well……..that may be true, but make sure that you have an extra twenty minutes to devote to buying a drive-thru coffee.   So I enter the dreaded 15 minute Starbuck’s line.  I order something unusual, a hazelnut cappuccino, which is not my normal drink.  I wait the expected time, and receive my drink…which ends up being only about 8 ounces of fluid in a 16 ounce cup.  The rest of the cup is made up of foam.  I know that cappuccinos have foam, but it shouldn’t make up more than half of the drink.  Plus, they think I’m going to pay $4.50 for a cup of air?????  I don’t think so.  So launches my tirade.  I take out my frustrations on the open-mouthed guy giving out the drinks for the day.  I tell him that there is no way I’m paying that much money for a cup of air, and tell him to take it back.  He offers to give me the drink for free, which I oblige to.  If anyone knows me, I actually never do anything like this.  I’m one of those passive consumers that will take out their frustrations with their spouse, even though it’s not their fault.  But lately, call it age, or just call it general bitchiness, but I’m tired of getting ripped off.  Therefore, I am slowly beginning to open the big mouth that I was blessed with, and scare many unsuspecting store employees in the process.

Cell phone companies are another huge joke.  They are pulling in consumers like lambs to the slaughter.  Some companies (cough…Verizon) are charging people for the cell plan, and then charging another amount for a data plan.  And if you have a certain type of phone, you are forced to buy the data plan?  And then some plans are charging extra if you want your phone to download faster?  Holy crap…I thought I finally found a good solution to the cell phone plan problem.  I pay $25.00 per month for a prepaid Virgin Mobile plan, which gives you unlimited text and web and 300 minutes of talk per month.  This is a perfect plan for me because I don’t talk on the phone that much, but text a lot.  It’s great except that if there is a mistake when opening your account online, you end up getting charged for services you don’t have, and it’s near impossible to get your money back.  As of today, they owe us over $125.00 for some phantom account that keeps withdrawing from my PayPal.  They can’t find the problem, and really don’t seem to care all that much.  I just keep calling and yelling, but to no avail.  Which reminds me, I’m due for my weekly call to them too…

Don’t even get me started on Wal-Mart.  If you want something to work more than a couple of weeks, don’t buy it there.   Wal-Mart is a manufacturer’s graveyard.  Things that don’t pass quality control go to Wal-Mart stores.  So that deodorant that doesn’t roll up, or the cleaner that doesn’t spray, or the hand soap that doesn’t pump, that’s all crap that the manufacturer says is not good enough to sell to regular stores.  Wal-Mart eats it up, buys it for pennies and sells it for thirty cents cheaper than a supermarket.  The consumer thinks they are getting a good deal.  But you actually waste more money in gas to bring the crap back to Wal-Mart than what you get back when you return it.  However, I bitch, but I still buy stuff from Wal-Mart.  Someday I’ll get it.  If I can find a decent cup of coffee…