"...And So That They May Teach Young Women..."

My mother laughs, but I stick to the principle that an apron to a woman is demeaning and degrading.  That’s how I’ve always felt about aprons, and unless it was made by one of my kids (preferably under the age of ten) you’ll never see me wearing one.  Aprons?  Just think about it for a second.  When you see a woman in an apron, what do you think of?  I think June Cleaver, I think Donna Reed, the idealized wife and mother that was a servant to her husband.  Key word—servant.  Maybe that was “okay” during the 1950’s, but I disagree with that image for today’s woman. 

There is a popular branch of Christianity (I won’t say which) that still puts much stock and emphasis on the subservient role of women in society.  They still insist on the word “obey” in the marriage vows.  They also hold seminars where the pastor teaches young women of the importance of being chaste, discreet, good homemakers, and obedient to their husbands.  Women are not allowed to wear pants to church, and they are not allowed to be a part of the church’s financial administrations.  These principles are being taught to their daughters.   Daughters who should be given every opportunity to be free, independent and strong, not weak, passive and dependent on men for survival.  I’m usually the last person to criticize one’s religion, but this is a dangerous road to be travelling.

In addition to fighting religious ideologies, women constantly have to worry about their rights where government is concerned.  The women’s movement is always in danger of being set back fifty years.  Currently, the GOP is trying to push legislation involving abortion rights.  There are several pieces of legislation including denying insurance coverage for women who need an abortion, allowing hospitals to turn women away if they need an abortion, and to cut federal aid to agencies like Planned Parenthood.  This is also a very dangerous road.  If government takes away reproductive rights, women will find alternative ways, and then the men of government will have blood on their hands.  Blood from women whose back alley abortions lead to their agonizing deaths.  Blood from women who have been raped or are victims of incest, and have nowhere to turn.  Instead of helping us in our movement, they hold our heads just under the water.  We can see the surface, but no matter how hard we kick, we can’t break it.

Maybe men are finally realizing that women have taken over the entire operation and they are running scared.  Most women that are “homemakers” run a well-oiled machine…they take care of the children and husband while juggling the family budget, family consumerism, schedules, fund-raisers, cooking, cleaning, and laundry.  Sure, the husband may think he’s doing the work, but it’s really the woman that keeps the family going.  Nowadays, most men will openly admit that their wives run the show, and some will appreciate that fact.  It means, in the end, less work for them to do.  Most marriages have their gender roles worked out…some marriages are still confused.  I am a “homemaker”, even though I prefer the term “domestic engineer.”  I take care of everything within the walls of the house.  My husband takes care things outside of the walls, including the vehicles.  We worked out our gender roles back at the beginning of our marriage.  I made it quite clear that I do not take out the trash, I do not mow grass, and I do not know anything about cars, lawnmowers, snowblowers, etc.  I have also made it quite clear that unless there is an injury involved, I do not shovel snow.  See, I’ve done all of these things before I was married, and I didn’t care to continue doing them once I was married.  My husband did his own laundry before he was married, but doesn’t care to continue.  That’s okay…those are our gender roles.  They are established and we have a great relationship.  We are able to laugh and joke and be comfortable and content.  Essentially, we are equals and involve each other in every major decision.  Major decisions—not what color the guest bathroom towels should be or what type of motor oil to buy.

In short, I am worried about the next generation of daughters.  Teen dating violence is on the rise, so obviously we are not breaking the cycle.  The media continues to show women as sex objects or things to possess.  They should be teaching young girls that they deserve respect, independence and should be put on equal footing with their male counterparts.  Mothers, please teach your daughters to be servants to no one.   Teach them self-reliance, and allow them every opportunity to be successful and intelligent.  In this way, we will continue the uphill battle…