Happy Hermit

As I get older and most of the general public becomes dumber, I find myself doing more things online rather than going to a store.  This is especially true during the holiday shopping season.  My husband’s mother and sister always want me to participate in Black Friday, but every year I turn them down.  I can’t deal with the crowds, the rudeness, and the personal injuries.  The fact is I just don’t like people.  There, I said it.  I just don’t like them.  In general, people are rude, uncaring, unknowing, and blissful in their stupidity.  If you don’t believe me, go to Best Buy on Black Friday around five in the morning, and sit back and watch the events unfold.  You’ll be agreeing with me before too long.

Also as I get older, I find myself having absolutely no patience for waiting in lines.  When I was a teenager, I had no problem waiting in line.  My friends and I waited two and a half hours in line at Splash Mountain in Disney World.  We’ve waited in line for concert tickets, and even just to eat.  An hour wait at Olive Garden?  Piece of cake!  Now, if I have to wait twenty minutes for anything, it’s just too long.  Maybe it’s because now that I’m in my [cough] thirties, I can’t waste precious life minutes waiting.  Or maybe it’s because I have too much crap to do; I don’t have time to stand in line!  Those dishes aren’t going to wash themselves!  Yikes, can’t believe that one came out of my mouth.

So in my attempt to avoid people, I tend to buy many things online.  I buy movie tickets, Christmas presents, wrapping paper.  I buy birthday presents, reserve library books, do all of my banking.   I have direct deposit, direct payment…this way I don’t have to buy stamps.  However, I’m not as bad as my mother, who will buy deodorant and shampoo online so she can avoid Wal-Mart.  I’m sure it’s coming though.  If I wanted to, I could buy my groceries online and have them delivered.  Come to think of it, I really don’t have to go outside at all.  I can see my friends and family on Skype.  Now all we need is some sort of teleportation device so I wouldn’t have to drive anymore.  Beam me up, Big Y.

Alas, even though I think I would be happy as a hermit, I would miss Starbucks.  I also wouldn’t be able to get material for the blog.  Drat, I guess I will have to remain a part of society.  At least for the lattes…